Destroying vinyl

Bored with looking a great album sleeves? Then destroy them! Here are some tips from a green living site I wish I hadn’t stumbled across. 
“Decorate your room with them. Most craft stores sell frames for record covers. If you love both the front and back of a particular record, you can cut it apart and frame both sides. If you want to get real creative, you can cut and splice together different album covers by your favorite artist or band to make one distinctive album cover.”
Yes, that Cream Disraeli Gears cover would look much better in two pieces. If this wasn’t bad enough, the same blogger then suggests cutting covers up to make a calendar, hacking 3″ circles out of them to make coasters or fridge magnets, or “create a cool box by gluing album covers together then shellacking it”.
Could you not leave the records as they are and play them? Mind you it did make me wonder what other people are suggesting to get rid of records and there really seems to be no end of advice out there on how to trash your collection!
One site does warn to “use some of your cooler albums for crafting. A Rolling Stones vinyl bowl is much more appealing than a Rodger Whittaker.” A Rodger Whittaker? The same crafter (or fudge fairy as they’re known round here thanks to Jack Dee) reckons they’re just dandy for storing saw blades in, though I confess this isn’t a solution to a problem I’ve been spending too many sleepless nights over.
No, the sleepless nights are caused by the number of people recommending that most popular of craft based solutions to ridding your home of vinyl – making your records into ugly plant-pots.
The interweb is full of “Easy directions to get you started on melting and reusing vinyl records. Make great gifts for the music lover in your family!” Just make sure you have the necessary components to hand (also helpfully listed) – Vinyl Record, Cookie Sheet, Pie Pan (and last but I assume not least), Oven. Look, if you have some albums which are really beyond all hope, the only sane thing to do is take them along to Oxfam, where they will clog up their valuing system – which serves them right for being greedy.

About simon robinson

Having worked as a graphic designer in the music industry, mainly in the reissue sector, I now concentrate on the design and publication of books about popular culture - and even write some of them.
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3 Responses to Destroying vinyl

  1. The horror the horror it gives a new meaning to apocalypse now

    • simon robinson says:

      Very true! Though I must confess to thinking about making a sort of stained glass window on one of our doors out of my see-thru marbled vinyl Happy Time kiddies EPs… only the ones that have lost their sleeves, obviously.

  2. Pingback: Abusing Old Records: Get Out of the Groove | Wretched Refuse

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